Being My Sister's Keeper - Part I

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Christ cleanses us from all sin” (John 1:7).

This past week we have been reviewing Part 1 in a series on Being My Sister’s Keeper by Elyse Fitzpatrick. After having settled some foundational issues about biblical fellowship we also explored ways to actually engage in this activity God has modeled for us. Resisting the temptation to hide things about ourselves we’d rather keep in the darkness, making ourselves known to others; especially when we are most tempted to protect ourselves and our reputation, confessing our temptations, flaws, weaknesses and sins and inviting the observations, correction and counsel of others are only a few that were mentioned.

Elyse passionately portrayed the death of Christ. She explained that the resurrection tells us the sacrifice of Jesus was completely accepted. Therefore, we don’t have to live for our reputation anymore because the only person who matters says we are welcome! She also said, “I am more sinful and flawed than I dare to believe, yet more loved and welcomed than I dare hope.”

Because of what Christ accomplished for us through his death and resurrection we are able to be our sister’s keeper. We have a Savior who saves from sin, so now we can freely talk about our sin to one another without being self-righteous, judgmental and/or embarrassed.

Ladies, we are image-bearers of the one who said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness” (Genesis 2:26). The one who created light and walks in unapproachable light (1 Timothy 6:16) calls us to “walk in the light as he is in the light.”

In light of the above truth here are a few questions to ponder:

· Am I willing? Am I willing to be yoked together with others? Am I willing to help my sister’s in their struggles against sin? Am I willing to wash their feet?

· How can these truths affect your friendships with others and what will change look like?

· How can this understanding of your sinfulness change the way you think about and relate to others?

· How has reputation-consciousness hindered your friendship and how can this truth change you as a friend?

· What typically hinders you from freely talking about your own sin and helping others with their sin, and how has this pattern negatively affected your relationships?

Ladies, we have hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ! We are now able to live for the glory of the one who saved us, free of all condemnation. This should determine our motivation to be our Sister’s Keeper.

Join us next week as we continue exploring ways to be our Sister’s Keeper.
~ Rhonda Calabello

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part I

We are so consumed with our daily lives that sometimes it's hard for us see outside our own little worlds. We may hear of a sister in need but because we are busy we justify why we can't serve. Or we may think that we have nothing to offer someone we don't know very well and so we choose to not serve. Whatever the reason is we have been called to walk closely with one another. We have become a society of people, especially in America, where we feel the more independent we are the stronger we are.

So what keeps us from living life together? Are we are concerned with not wanting to get too close because we might get hurt? Or maybe we don’t ask how others are doing because we really don’t have the time to get “involved” and so we go on our way. Perhaps we tell ourselves that we don’t have to care for someone because we don’t go to the same home group and therefore it’s not my responsibility to ask how she’s doing. I know, sadly, that I am guilty of thinking all of those things.

As ladies we all share common goals, struggles, desires...the list could go on. We each have something to offer and if you never reach outside your comfort zone you may never know what a blessing you can be to another lady or what a blessing she could be to you. Challenge yourself this week to reach out to other’s whether their in your home group or not, or whether they go to your church or not. Has the Lord placed a certain individual on your heart? Have you acted upon it or are you putting it off for a time when you are less busy? How can we serve one another? Let’s help one another to be a means of grace in other’s lives. ~ Sharlyn Eddy

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part I

Who keeps us? Believe it or not, the answer to this question is what encouraged and provoked me most in desiring to be my “sister’s” keeper. How is it that we can even have biblical fellowship with the women God has placed in our lives? It is possible because God first had fellowship with us. He is involved with us at the core of our soul. Fellowship looks like the incarnation. He sent His precious Son to die on a cross, so that we can have fellowship with Him!

“Keeper” or “shamar” – To hedge about (as with thorns), i.e. guard; generally, to protect, attend to.

God is our shepherd. Shepherd’s use to gather thorn bushes and make a pen for the sheep and place them inside. There was one opening, a door that the shepherd would lay down in so that he could allow what came through. He was actually willing to lay down his life for his sheep. In the same way, God has surrounded us with a hedge and everything that comes into our life can only come through Him. He guards our soul.

Knowing this truth doesn’t cause us to live haphazardly, but makes us love God. It spurs us on to love the people He has sovereignly placed in our life. It inspires a desire in us to have biblical fellowship with our sisters. To be keepers of their soul.

“A charitable concern for our brethren, as their keepers, is a great duty, which is strictly required of us, but is generally neglected by us. Those who are concerned in the affairs of their brethren, and take no care, when they have opportunity, to prevent their hurt in their bodies, goods, or good name, especially in their souls, do, in effect, speak Cain’s language.” –Matthew Henry

Cain made it clear to God that he was not his brother, Abel’s keeper. He wasn’t concerned with his brother’s good, safety and soul…in fact it was the exact opposite. Cain was concerned with himself. In a world full of individualism, God is calling us to be others focused. Knowing what I know about how God keeps me, I pray that it will only continue to permeate my heart, mind and actions in loving my sister’s, for their good and His glory.
~ Lana Calabello

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part I

Here's an excerpt from yesterday's blog

"As we humble ourselves before God and one another, as we worship together, pray for one another, carry one another’s burdens, and serve one another we will experience true biblical fellowship. Our lives together are intended to present to the world a compelling witness of the grace of God. Our unity and love for one another is one of the most powerful testimonies we can give to unbelievers who are lost, isolated, fragmented, and ultimately without hope, but also it is a powerful testimony we can give to each other."

Let's unpack the "one anothers" and give some ideas for how to flesh this out.

Humble ourselves: We are all familiar with the words, “confess your sins to another”, in the book of James. It's one thing to confess to God in private, but there is a spiritual power released when we reveal a hidden sin to another sister in Christ. Sin's hold over us is greatly weakened when we know that a sister will continue to ask us about our progress in this confessed area of sin.

Worship together: our first thought when we read this is Sunday morning. But there are many other ways we can walk this out. We can meet a sister to go through a book together, meet for a time a prayer about a specific sin, even escape from the regular routine of life for an extended prayer retreat. These times of worship can even be accomplished creatively by meeting at the beach or a nearby park while your children play nearby.

Pray for one another: besides praying for our sisters as we go about our daily tasks it’s also a joy to take a moment and pray for our friend over the telephone directly after she has shared her request. This doesn't have to be long. You can even take a quick moment to bow your heads in a store parking lot, a social gathering, or particularly after church on Sunday morning. Our souls can be very tender after sitting under the Word.

Carry one another's burdens: many times heavy burdens are of a confidential nature. Ask the Lord to teach you how to become a trusted confidante. As women we can be so tempted to share things we know. We need God’s grace to not reveal secrets.

Serve one another: depending upon your season of life, this will look different. Women with young children can serve other sisters in the same situation by watching children as the friend makes a trip to the doctor or hairdresser. Rather than feeling the need to give a shower gift that requires money give a young bride a few of your favorite recipes or even a thought out page or two of the things you wished you would have known as a young bride. She will be blessed by your presence at her shower and may treasure these "sisterly" gifts as more precious than anything you could have bought from her registry list.

These are just a few ideas to stimulate your thinking as we learn to care for one another. As we practice biblical fellowship with our sisters in Christ we will experience new levels of depth in our relationships which will lead to growing in godliness. ~ Brenda Edwards

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part I

Some months back in our ladies accountability care groups we went through a series of teachings by Elyse Fitzpatrick on Being My Sister’s Keeper (you can find all the notes here). In light of this topic join us as we continue to explore what it means to form relationships that will result in true biblical fellowship which is simply to know and be known by one another, with a primary goal of growing together in godliness. May we be reminded that all of the Christian life takes place in the context of our relationships with other believers in the context of the local church. And though we enter into a relationship with God as individuals, something greater than our own individuality was and is God’s plan: the church-the community of God’s people.

Throughout the history of redemption, God has been acting to create “a people for His Own possession.” (1 Peter 2:9-10) Christ’s finished work on the cross not only provided forgiveness of sins, but it advanced God’s work of creating a people for Himself by bringing into existence the church.

Our true nature as the church, and as Christians, is corporate. God is saving a people, not an unconnected group of isolated individuals. Our lives are to give expression to the reality of our existence as the people of God. To deny this by pursuing individualism or independence is to isolate ourselves from the express purpose of God.

So what does this mean practically? What is God’s intention for our lives together? Is it simply attending the same meeting on a Sunday? Is it merely acknowledging the same body of doctrines? Yes, I do believe it is that, but so, so much more.

The biblical picture of the church can best be described as a community: a group of people, joined by a common life, united by common values and a common purpose. This is the type of church life God calls us to-a life that shines as a testimony to His work in our lives. Our fellowship is nothing less than our participation together in the very life of God, made possible by Christ’s work on the cross and brought about by the Holy Spirit. Such fellowship is both profound and precious.

Fellowship begins with speaking the gospel. (1 John 1:3) The starting point of fellowship is simply speaking the truth in love. Love is central to the process of restoring one another and bearing one another’s burdens. The platform of the cross is the only place we can pursue fellowship, for it is the source of all fellowship. If fellowship does not begin with the cross it will lack the ground and power for its purpose. If our common goal in relating to one another is something other than being conformed to his image and growing in his likeness, we will stop short of pursuing fellowship. The purpose of fellowship is that we would glorify God as we grow in godliness and are conformed to the image of Christ.

All too often many of us want the privileges of such relationships but not the responsibilities. But the fruit of such fellowship is so worth it.

We need the consistent encouragement of others. We need others to help us resist sin and to strengthen our resolve for godliness. We need the input of others to help us see our sin and repent from it. We need to confess our sins to others so as to weaken sin’s power and invite accountability. But more than all that we need to live our lives in view of God’s grace and mercy. Our gaze to needs to be fixed there. Apart from God’s grace and mercy we cannot grow. So as we offer ourselves as living sacrifices it is in response to what God has done and this is what God uses to bring about change and growth in our lives in order for us to be a means of grace to others.

As we humble ourselves before God and one another, as we worship together, pray for one another, carry one another’s burdens, and serve one another we will experience true biblical fellowship. Our lives together are intended to present to the world a compelling witness of the grace of God. Our unity and love for one another is one of the most powerful testimonies we can give to unbelievers who are lost, isolated, fragmented, and ultimately without hope, but also it is a powerful testimony we can give to each other.

Join us over the next few weeks as we continue to look at what it means to walk in the light as it pertains to Being My Sister’s Keeper. ~ Rhonda Calabello

Submission

Chris and I married young- as soon as I graduated high school. He was attending classes at UNF, so we rented an apartment in Jacksonville and thus began our married life together- away from everything, and everyone, familiar. Although life was wonderful in many ways, the challenges were more of a burden than anyone should carry alone. Immature, I didn't know how to look to the Lord for daily help. Instead, I expected Chris to be my everything.

I was not cultivating submission, in fact this self-centered posture is the opposite of submission! Where I should have recognized that only Christ can meet all my needs, I found myself instead asking more and more of my hubby. And instead of trusting God to lead me through Chris, I desired my hubby to focus on keeping me happy which left him no time for pursuing a relationship with the Lord.

I excused myself from submission during the first 6 or 7 years of our marriage thinking, "He just isn't a strong leader." Other times I was downright rude, saying, "I'd be happy to follow if you would actually lead!" My arrogance is so obvious to me now. If only someone had helped me to see it earlier! So I'd like to encourage wives whose hubby is "steady", not a type-A leader.

You know, Isaiah 40:11 says, "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." I have always applied this to parenting, and been grateful that the Lord gently leads Chris and me as we parent. But guess what I'm seeing today? Our very own God gently leads! All those years ago, and every decision today, my hubby is following the Lord when he gently leads our family!

Fast forward through 10 years of marriage. I still find myself leaning heavily on Chris at times. But now, when he gently leads our family or asks me to change my priorities for a season, I know wisdom teaches me to lay aside my opinions. I can trust God to lead Chris to lead me.
~ Allie Olsen

Submission

Being a woman who submits to her husband is a rare oddity. We live in a world where women want to be treated like men and have fought for those rights for decades. It’s not uncommon for women to speak poorly of their husbands. Even in Christian circles women can talk negatively about certain traits their husbands may have and tear them down in front of others. But when you do hear or see a godly woman who esteems her husband and praises him you take notice.

Submitting to my husband isn’t just an outward expression of obedience. It’s something that is deep within my heart that wants to please God and in doing so shows respect and honor to my husband. It’s trusting in my husband’s leadership, guidance, and protection. I have learned what areas are mine to rule, that I am my husband’s helper, and when I trust in his leadership it’s for my protection.

I am a strong woman and it has taken many years of the Lord working in my heart to show me why biblical submission in my marriage is so important. God has shown me when I step outside my biblical role as a wife and try to rule our household without my husband’s guidance that I am sinning. Too many times I have made poor decisions that weren’t mine to make and we have suffered the consequences because of that. My husband’s headship over me is there for a purpose…to guide me and lead me.
~ Sharlyn Eddy

“In the home when a husband leads like Christ and a wife responds like the bride of Christ, there is a harmony and mutuality that is more beautiful and more satisfying than any pattern of marriage created by man. Biblical headship for the husband is the divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant-leadership, protection and provision in the home. Biblical submission for the wife is the divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.30 This is the way of joy. For God loves his people and he loves his glory. And therefore when we follow his idea of marriage (sketched in texts like Genesis 2:18-24; Proverbs 5:15-19; 31:10-31; Mark 10:2-12; Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19; and 1 Peter 3:1-7) we are most satisfied and he is most glorified.” John Piper

Submission

God's view of submission has always been a beautiful idea to me. It's beautiful until it contradicts a strong desire I have. That is why I'm so grateful to have grown up being able to practice the blessing of submission with my parents. Whether I like to think it or not, how I respond to my parents and particularly my father, will most likely be the way I respond to a husband one day. I have learned from God's word that a hate for the authority that God has sovereignly placed in my life is ultimately hate for God's authority. Submission walked out in the right way is actually strength and beauty on full display. It's easy to be independent and self-sufficient, but submission takes strength and humility. When a wife joyfully submits to her husband, she isn't just laying down her life and desires, she is building up her husband and helping him to be the man God has called him to be. I once heard a quote by Matthew Henry concerning how Eve was taken out of Adam's rib. She wasn't taken out of his head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him. Understanding God's design for men and women this way, and seeing God's plan for leadership and submission, makes the prospect of one day submitting to a husband exciting. I know it may not always be easy, but considering the benefits through obedience to God, makes it all worth while. ~ Lana Calabello

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love, turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward. While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence, she brings out in him whatever is noblest and richest in his being. She inspires him with courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is crude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path." - J.R. Miller

Submission

It can seem easy to be submissive when you're in total agreement with your spouse. The challenge is learning to submit even when you disagree. Some of God's greatest lessons are learned when we lean not on our own understanding but trust Him. Several years ago my husband asked me to stop writing music. I argued with him for a few days. There was much tension between us and some painful exchanges.

Of course God wanted me to write music-I reasoned-why would he want me to stop doing something that brought glory to Him?

I went to a park on Mandarin road. I paced the boardwalk, wringing my hands and crying out to God in prayer, afraid to do what my husband had asked. Finally, I realized I needed to do this hard thing by faith. It didn't make any sense to me but to not submit was being disobedient. So reluctantly I bowed my heart and agreed to stop writing music.

Any time a new song or even a phrase for a new song would begin in my mind I turned it away. It was so foreign at first, seemingly turning away inspiration. After a month I realized what the Lord was doing. I had never been able to turn off my brain at will. I could be in a number of places and an idea would begin. Thoughts would tumble over one another like an unstoppable avalanche. But because of this strange request from my husband a gift was given to me: The ability for my mind to be at rest.

Eventually he released me to write again. But I can't tell you what a great gift had been given to me. A gift I would have missed had I continued to be stubborn and unwilling to submit. Like Abraham, going not knowing, I have learned to trust God to guide me though my husband. By faith submission has become a beautiful thing. ~ Brenda Edwards

Submission

We conclude this segment in Titus 2 by looking at the topic of Submission, certainly not a very popular topic to say the least. The feminist ideology seeks the obliteration of roles between male and female and view a wife submitting to her husband as demeaning, degrading, worthy only of mockery and pity. However, as Christian women the culture is not to be our source that defines our behavior. God’s Word is the source that informs our belief and determines our behavior. Therefore, we need to be continually evaluating out hearts and inspecting our behavior to make sure that the values and objectives of our society have not penetrated into our own way of thinking and living.

“Then they can train the younger women…to be subject to their husbands.” Titus 2:4, 5

I once heard one woman describe her view of submission this way: “Before I became a Christian the Bible Doctrine which was most like waving a red flag in front of a peevish bull as far as (I) the bull was concerned was wifely submission. I thought of leadership and submission as if they were a hammer and a nail. The husband got to be the hammer and the pour wife was the nail. How I hated that doctrine. Reading the Bible through for the first time, every time I saw a passage that taught wifely submission, I flung the Bible to the floor.”

I dare say that many women, even Christian women, are confused and sometimes hostile about what it means for a wife to be submissive to her husband. The question I would ask each of us is this: How do you regard the Doctrine of Submission? What does submission evoke in your heart and mind? Do you consider it a joy and privilege to submit to your husband or do you resent the submissive role as a wife?
Do you feel like flinging your Bible to the floor whenever you read this command in scripture?

Well, whatever your perspective, I trust each of us will examine our attitude and behavior in light of God’s Word. I’ve listed the following verses for further study; Eph. 5:22-32; Col.3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-5.

What does it mean to be subject to my husband? A very simple definition would be to acknowledge or recognize positional authority; to voluntarily place oneself under. Submission was ordained by God, submission originated with God; not as a result of the fall. As you study Genesis 1-3 you will see that God ordained male headship and female submission in marriage from the very beginning, prior to the entrance of sin.

John Piper says, “When the Bible teaches that men and women fulfill different roles in relation to each other, charging man with a unique leadership role, it bases this differentiation not on temporary cultural norms but on permanent facts of creation. This is seen in 1 Corinthians 11:3-16; Eph. 5:21-33; and I Timothy 2:11-14. In the Bible, differentiated roles for men and women are never traced back to the fall of man and woman into sin. Rather, the foundation of the differentiation is traced back to the way things were in Eden before sin warped our relationships. Differentiated roles were corrupted, not created, by the fall. They were created by God.”

I would encourage you to read Ephesians 5:22-32 and see for yourself that marriage as God has ordained is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. Marriage is to reveal Christ’s love for the church and the church’s submission to Christ. The primary purpose of marriage is not necessarily for our fulfillment to meet our needs. It is to reveal how Christ relates to the church and how the church relates to Christ. Marriage was created to glorify God. The purpose of submission in marriage, the reason we are to voluntarily place ourselves under our husbands authority is to glorify God, to bring honor to His name and to display to the world a picture of the church submitting to Christ. And ladies, WE WILL benefit immeasurably as we obey God.

Submission is not a position of inferiority, submission does not denote weakness, and it is certainly not brainless obedience. We are equal in worth and in importance; we simply have a different function. It’s so sad to me that some women really believe that submission expresses itself in mindless behavior. But on the contrary, submission is the response of an intelligent woman who fears God, who understands scripture, who is motivated by an understanding of divine order, who obviously loves her husband and who ultimately wants to glorify God. Ladies, being submission is the mark of a wise woman.


Ladies, let us embrace this divine calling in a way that causes us to honor and affirm our husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to our gifts.

As you prayerfully consider throughout the week areas where you might be resisting submission in you marriage remember that we are not naturally inclined to this. As a result of the fall we are not naturally prone to submit. We see in Genesis 3:16 it is not our predisposition to be submissive. This verse communicates Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden. “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” This word desire is a negative word. It is a desire to control or rule over our husband; to have mastery over him. It is a desire to manipulate our husband. And as a result of sin, you and I often struggle with this evil desire. Yet, there is hope in God for change. May we cry out to Him for fresh faith and grace as we allow the Holy Spirit to change us for His glory.

So join us this week as we look at how submission yields peace and joy; provides protection and promotes freedom. ~ Rhonda Calabello

Being Busy in the Home

Many years ago, we moved to Ft. Lauderdale when my husband was transferred. I was at the bank filling out forms to open a checking account, when I was confronted with a new reality. “Address: None” (none yet...we had a contract on a house, but were still living in a hotel). “Employer: None.” I was also newly pregnant.

I reviewed my status: unemployed, pregnant, and no home. At least I wasn’t barefoot. Then I realized I was tying up my identity in what I did, not in whose I was. Even though my employment status, address, and family status had just changed, I had been, and still was, a Daughter of the King.

The truth is, anyone including stay-at-home moms can depend too much on what they do for their identity. That’s because we’re tempted to identify ourselves by what we do. I was a student, then a Bank Auditor. Now I am a wife, home-schooling mom, and photographer. Through the years what I do has changed. But the foundational part of my identity is that Jesus loves me and died to make me His child.

~ Adrea Thomas

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.” Ro. 8:15-17a

Being Busy in the Home

For the last two weeks I have pretty much been immobile. I have had to rely on my family to help me do things. The girls have made dinner and have been such a blessing to me in so many ways. The boys have been doing more around the house too. And my sweet husband even did the grocery shopping for me. I am not used to being the one who is being served and at times have been uncomfortable with all the attention.

Being busy in my home has been at a standstill. Although I have delegated many tasks, I have folded laundry from the couch, ironed from the couch, done school from the couch and have even helped the girls with cooking from the couch, there are many things that have been put to the side for now. I think the Lord would just have me be still and rest in Him. Far too often I forget to rest in my Heavenly Father.

So often I can get consumed with my mental checklist that the task becomes more important than the people. Learning to rely on others has been humbling yet somewhat freeing at the same time. I am sure before too long things will be back to normal (whatever that is) and I will be back doing all the things that a wife and mother do. But today, being still and quiet seems to be what the Lord would have me do. ~ Sharlyn Eddy

1 Peter 3:4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Being Busy in the Home

I would definitely describe myself as a home-body and love to be home whenever possible. Unfortunately that doesn’t automatically mean I like to “be busy at home”. But thankfully, I have a mom who excels in that area! She works hard to make sure the house is clean and organized, tastefully decorated and most importantly filled with joy, peace and laughter. Love for God and her family are what spur her on to add that extra touch to a room or finish that twentieth load of laundry. She has helped instruct me over the years about the importance of cultivating a love for the home while I’m single, all the while learning that where we live is not just a house, but a home. When I undertake a task at home, it helps me to remember who I am doing it for. First and foremost for God and secondly to serve my family. When I set my heart and thoughts to think about it that way, I’m a little more joyful in the process, a little stronger for the task and a little more eager to fulfill the role God has called me to. Let me leave you with a quote from one of my favorite authors. I hope it encourages and envisions you, as much as it has me.

Four walls do not make a home—though it is a palace filled with all the elegances which wealth can buy! The home-life itself is more important than the house and its adornments. By the home-life, is meant the happy art of living together in tender love. We enter some homes, and they are full of sweetness—as fields of summer flowers are full of fragrance. All is order, beauty, gentleness and peace. We enter other homes, where we find jarring, selfishness, harshness and disorder. This difference is not accidental. They are influences at work in each home, which yield just the result we see in each. No home-life can ever be better than the life of those who make it. A true home is set up and all its life ordered—for the definite purpose of training, building up and sending our human lives fashioned into Christlike symmetry, filled with lofty impulses and aspirations, governed by principles of rectitude and honor, and fitted to enter upon the duties and struggles of life with spiritual wisdom and strength. - J.R. Miller

~ Lana Calabello

Being Busy in the Home

Last week I was in one of my favorite places on the planet: the children's section of the public library. I had to laugh as the Lord showed me something about myself. As I was trying to locate a favorite author I noticed a few books were shelved in the wrong place. I quickly put them where they belonged and then noticed more books in the wrong place! "What is going on around here?" I thought self-righteously to myself as I began to become a little irritated. I patted myself on the back for volunteering fifteen minutes of my time to get the small, three shelf section back in proper working order.

When I returned home a few minutes later I noticed a very large plastic bag of leaves which had been sitting on the back porch where I had left it a couple of weeks ago when the weather was nice and I was inspired to begin removing the first of dozens of bags of leaves. I sensed the Lord saying to me "You were really uptight about a few books that were in the right section but not in your preferred alphabetical order. What about the unfinished job that is your real responsibility?" I didn't feel any sense of condemnation from the Lord but instead a revelation. As I thought about the two scenarios I believe the Lord began to help me work through (with laughter) why I had been avoiding the leaf job. I have an administrative gift that I have learned to channel in certain ways. Putting books in alphabetical order is quick, relatively easy, measureable and leaves you with a sense of accomplishment. Removing an entire backyard of leaves is overwhelming, time-consuming, difficult and seems like even if you do hours of work you would hardly make a dent. So my revelation? I want to do work that makes me FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. But as Rhonda reminded us yesterday our home is to be our focus, not our feelings. So once again I need the Lord to teach me how to realistically tackle huge, difficult jobs for the glory of God. And not begrudgingly either: but with real joy. Thank you God for arms and legs to use to do this task. Thank you for warming weather to make the task more pleasant. Thank you that I have the time and energy to serve my family (and people like Allie Olsen who likes to go in my backyard while Ben has his piano lesson. I told her I just don't look out the door and then I don't have to think about it). The Lord is patient with us. I am so thankful for this. So as the Lord once again turns my focus to the proper place, my home, I will see what He has to teach me as He is my companion as we rake leaves together!

~ Brenda Edwards

Being Busy in the Home

Remember the phrase “There is no place like home…There is no place like home” that Dorothy quoted in the Wizard of Oz after discovering what was “over the rainbow?” I’m sure many of us have found ourselves saying the same thing at times. I know I have. But would our families echo, “There is no place like home?”

God in His wisdom has mandated that women are to be busy in the home. Titus 2:4-5 encourages the young women to be homemakers (hard workers, working diligently and skillfully in the home)…or home guardians (caregivers and gatekeepers). Scripture also gives examples of godly women who worked in other settings beside their home. But it was never to the neglect of their families and their homes. You see the issue is that home must always remain the constant and ongoing priority in our lives. Our homes and families are to be our primary focus, as well as the primary beneficiaries of our energies and gifts.

Many of us tend to think that working in the home is about cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and the endless other chores required to maintain a home. Yet in the midst of living life - dressing, eating, sleeping, working, changing diapers, kids doing homework,
watching television, working through conflicts, laughing, tucking children into bed - far more is happening than meets the eye.

While it is clear that we are to be about hard work, I believe the emphasis is not so much on which job a woman does around the house or how she oversees the upkeep of her home. God is not concerned about whether we are crafty or not. He doesn’t dictate whether we have hired help to clean our house or we do it ourselves, whether we bake cookies or buy them at the store, whether we iron our shirts or take them to the cleaners. Every woman has her own style, her own strengths and bents and her own situation to deal with.

The emphasis is really about “focus.” God asks that we focus our gifts and energies on the ministry of the home, to fix our hearts on; to set our sights upon; to think first; to direct our energies toward the home. God is calling us to fix our hearts on our homes with diligence and love. The people who live in our homes are to be our focus. If we create a beautiful museum in which our families cannot live, work or play freely, we have lost our focus. Children need to be able to use glue and scissors. Husbands need to be able to romp on the floor with their kids and teenagers need to be able to bring their friends home. We are to create an inviting atmosphere of love, joy and peace. A place we enjoy and where they will say, “There is no place like home.”

Again, we must remember that home is our place to enjoy; home is our place for ministry; home is our place to build and home is our place to manage. It is here we are to be hard workers, strong workers, cheerful workers, unselfish workers, and the Lord’s worker described in Proverbs 31.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself the following questions: Do you think your family would describe you as happy? Why or why not? What is one way you can grow in creating a joyful atmosphere in your home?

Join us this week as we look at what it means to be a home-worker.
~ Rhonda Calabello

Loving Your Children

It has been said that the Lord places children in our lives not only to bring laughter, joy and blessings (which they do) but also for our sanctification. So many moms have shared that they never had issues with anger before having a preschooler! Praise our God that He does not leave us to flounder!

"Know this, my beloved [sisters]: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of [Mom] does not produce the righteousness that God requires... receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." James 1:19-22

Long ago, I memorized the first verse in this passage. And the Lord has used it in my life- His Word truly does not return empty! But today, the next few verses came alive for me. When I get angry with the children, I don't calm down just by chanting some verse. "Allie, listen. Be slow to speak and don't get angry!" No, God's Word, planted in my heart, is able to save my soul!

I am so excited about this! This is why we, as a church family, memorize passages of scripture with the children each month. We store up God's Word in our hearts so that we won't sin against him (Psalm 119:11).

As mammas, we love our children in so many ways. Kissing boo-boos and tucking them in (even two or three times in the winter!) are special ways to share love. But the most important way we love children is sharing our love for our Savior and His Word! ~ Allie O.

Loving Your Children

In looking back on the message that Adrea shared last April on this subject, it has served my heart well to be reminded of what it is to love my children. In this day and age we have different TV personalities telling us how to raise our children and what loving them is all about. The shows on TV depict a life of luxury that our children are sucked into and not to mention that every commercial is focused on selling our kids something that they just “have to have”.
So I thought I would take the time to focus on the three points Adrea shared.

1 – Love them as God’s gift
Psalm 16:5-6 Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Knowing that my children are a reward from God is such an awesome thing to think about. He thinks I am worthy and has entrusted me with a great gift and a great responsibility. He is counting on me to teach them the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).

2 – Love them for the joy they give you
Oh, there is nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. That joy wells up inside of me and at times would bring tears to my eyes. I love seeing my children full of joy! And better yet they love seeing their mother full of joy. So much of the time I can be critical and focus only on their faults. It’s easy for me to show them where they are sinning and yet I am being self righteous in the process. I am often humbled by my children. Joy comes in pointing out evidences of God’s grace in their lives.

3 – Love them with eyes of faith—for what they shall be
2 Cor 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
“Unbelief is always anchored to the present, while faith looks to that which is unseen” – Douglas Wilson
Something Adrea said was that our children must know that we have faith in them and for them. This means, to me, not limiting what they are capable of. Letting them dream…and dream BIG! I need to be excited with them when they come to me with an idea and not crushing their hopes and dreams. I also need to trust God with their futures and pray every day that they would have a clear understanding of the direction and calling that the Lord has on their lives.

Loving your children is more than just outward affection. It’s praying for them and with them, crying with them, playing with them, disciplining them, and rejoicing with them. I love having those tender moments. I am sure when my children are grown I would rather them remember the tender moments than all of the other times that I have yelled and been unreasonable. May you all have more tender moments with the children in your lives. ~ Sharlyn Eddy

Loving Your Children

My mom was and still is a great example to me of how she daily walks out loving her children. She has never pretended that she’s perfect, but is quick to humbly admit when she is wrong or unsure about something. I have seen the way she constantly makes sacrifices for us, but she never seems to mind because she desires our good above her own. Yes, there were rules and discipline growing up, but there were fun and creative adventures, tender moments and lasting memories.

So, what would this look like for a single woman? Well, investing in the lives of the children around us is one of the most worthwhile endeavors we can practice in our single years. And while babysitting and playing with children is fun, there is something deeper at the root of it all. We have the opportunity to have an eternal impact on their souls. We could just watch these children and keep them from harm, or we could thoughtfully seek to get to know them, surprise and delight them, invest in them, befriend them, make memories with them, share the Gospel with them, and disciple them.

So, what are some practical things single women can do to practice and cultivate loving children?

- Volunteer to babysit for friends
Through babysitting I’ve seen some of my worst sin exposed. A lot of weakness, sin and pride come out when you’re faced with the task of caring for children. But you also experience the joys of loving, nurturing and delighting in them.

- Teach or help in your church’s children’s ministry program
Teaching the word of God to young ones is truly a privilege and it’s a great way to learn how to share the Gospel with kids in a way that they understand. Most importantly, you are sowing eternity into their hearts.

- Plan a serious and fun time with younger girls you know
Growing up, there was often an older single girl around who reached out to me and the others girls. It’s wonderful to be able to be an example and a friend to younger girls who may be in your life. Maybe God would have you reach out to all of them or possibly just one. As you seek to love them, God can do powerful things through you.

- Ask a mom you know with young children if you can help her for the day or a few hours to learn from her example
I love hearing or observing the different mom’s I know and how they do things. God has gifted each one of them uniquely and it’s such a joy to watch them with their children.

I have been richly blessed to have so many godly women in my life who exemplify loving their children. I am hoping to follow their examples and one day, Lord willing, be able to put into practice all that I’ve learned as I seek to love my own children.

~ Lana Calabello

Loving Your Children

Recently I read a line in a book that the first business of the day is to "keep an untroubled soul." There are so many truths to teach our children, so many things we want to make sure they take away from having spent time with us. But this idea of keeping an untroubled soul is especially applicable to nurturing children because their little hearts seem to bruise and break so easily. Last week I could hear my grandson crying in the other room when I stopped by the house to drop something off. He was so upset about the inability to remember a few facts that he was getting himself to the place where he was unable to function at all. We prayed together and I tried to remind him that an untroubled soul was so much more important to God than being able to recite a few facts and dates. It's not that I don't care whether he learns his facts or not but I'm more concerned that he would allow his soul to get into such a state. David said it so well, "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed witin me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence." Psalm 42:5 Helping our children learn how to be aware of the Lord's presence and where to flee to in time of need is one of the greatest things we can teach them. I know this to be true because my heart is often troubled and my soul can become disturbed within me.

Just last week my soul was disturbed. I knew I needed to spend some extended time in the Lord's presence. Through the wonderful ministry of the Word of God He instructed my soul, led me through a time of reflection and repentance. With the help of my concordance He took me to passage after passage of Scripture. Some verses brought correction and conviction. Some brought cleansing and forgiveness. But all were viewed through the lens of the Cross. In the end my soul was untroubled and my hardened heart broken and tender. What a wonderful Savior. What a merciful God. He is there to meet us in our times of need. He hears our cry and comforts our sorrowing heart. May we teach our children how to flee to the Lord in time of need and may they learn how to move from having a troubled soul to an untroubled soul.

~ Brenda Edwards

Loving Your Children

This week we invite you to join us as we look at the importance of “Loving Your Children” as defined by God’s Word.

Titus 2:4 says, “Then they [the older women] can train the younger women to love their …children.” This type of love is defined as a warm, affectionate love and it emphasizes enjoyment and pleasure in the relationship.

But before we go any further I would like to share a story with you, one that might be a bit graphic in language and very sad. Barbara Hughes in her book Disciplines of a Godly Woman highlights this article featured in the Washington Post by Charles
Krauthammer’s.

The screaming headline was tabloid-size: “I WAS DESPERATE FOR A BABY, AND I HAVE THE MEDICAL BILLS TO PROVE IT.” The article went on: “Some love-struck movie star? A lesbian celebrity? No. It was Germaine Greer, icon of twentieth-century feminism. ‘I still have pregnancy dreams,’ she confessed, ‘waiting with vast joy and confidence for something that will never happen.’”

Ms. Greer, in Krauthammer’s words, “is the great exemplar of the fiercely independent, aggressively sexual new woman. In 1970 Ms. Greer wrote in the Female Eunuch that women should view motherhood as a handicap and pregnancy as an illness. Greer urged women to be “deliberately promiscuous” and to be certain not to conceive children.

Krauthammer’s article continues: “The one adjective rarely attached to Ms. Greer was domestic. And now she reveals the hollowness that haunts her, the terrible sorrow she feels at what she lost: her chance for motherhood. Many years ago, she now writes, she cared for the infant daughter of a friend. ‘Ruby lit up my life in a way that nobody, certainly no lover, has ever done. I was not prepared for the incandescent sensuousness of this small child, the generosity of her innocent love.’”

You might ask, why the change of heart in Ms. Greer? Why would a woman so against mothering be experiencing the agonizing loss of the very thing she so hated and despised? Because motherhood is the essence of womanhood. I believe that whether or not a woman has children, she is called to embrace the discipline of nurturing. And this aspect of womanhood goes far beyond the physical bearing of children.

You see the word nurture originated in the Latin meaning “to suckle or nourish; the act of nursing” but in the English language its broader meaning includes “to further the development of, to train. Nurturing is really essential for everyone’s well-being. Barbara Hughes says, “It follows then that if a woman’s gentle nurturing touch is missing, society will surely degenerate.”
Genesis 3:20 says, Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.” God’s Word teaches that nurturing life is uniquely female. Women have been uniquely created by God, and like Eve, we have been given a body designed tonurture life. But as Barbara Hughes says in her book, “Mothering is more than the mere mechanics of uterus and breast, it is far more profound.

Ladies, we must cultivate a nurturing spirit whether we are single or married, with children or not. Nurturing is our responsibility before God as a human being and in particular because we are female. The context for where and how we might care for others will be dictated by where God places us – in a home, in a school, in a hospital, in the inner city, wherever. So may our prayer be, “God help us to be faithful nurturer’s whatever season we may be in.” Again, mothering is the essence of womanhood and to live out life as a nurturer in our self-centered culture will be sure to cost us. But the rewards, as Ms. Greer so belatedly discovered, are rich indeed.

Join us tomorrow where we will continue on the topic Loving Your Children.
~ Rhonda Calabello