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Being My Sister's Keeper - Part III

As single women, it can be an easy temptation to become self-absorbed and self-focused. Our problems can seem all encompassing and much bigger than anyone else's. It can be challenging to pull the focus away from ourselves and seek to bare the burdens of those around us. But that is exactly what we are called to do. Romans tells us to bear with others and not just please ourselves. So, what does this look like practically?

* Learn to become a good listener
- Be attentive when a woman in your life, whether married or single, is speaking. Is there despair, anger, weariness, bitterness in her words? Is she overwhelmed with the business of her season or weight of her sin? You'll only find out what's going on in her life by listening.
* Learn to take the log out of your own eye first
- When all we can see is the sin of others, it's will be hard to be gentle with them when bringing our observations. Examining our heart before we go to our friends will produce humility and gentleness. We will be better prepared to come alongside our sisters and help them.
* Learn to breathe grace
- Our words have the power to either tear down, or give life. Speaking truth to one another first begins with reiterating the gospel to them. As Elyse says in her message, "how many times have we torn open the wounds of someone that Christ has bound up?" How convicting!
* Learn to love others because we have first been loved
- Being our sister's keeper is not out of a response of guilt, but instead, it is a response to what Christ has already done for us. Guilt will never motivate us long term to do anything. Only love can do that. How can we not be interested in others, when Christ has been so interested in us?
* Learn to bear one another’s burdens
- Godly love does not seeks it's own, but seeks to serve and bless others. God has given us each other as a means of grace to help us through the day to day. Think of ways you can help carry the burden of someone in your life. 2 Corinthians speaks of God being our comfort and how because of that, we can now comfort those around us.

Without God's help, no one would be able to apply all these things effectively. But God is eager to help us and use us as instruments in His hands. Ask God to give you love for the women in your life and to show you ways to listen to them, breathe grace into their lives, humbly bring correction and carry their burdens. ~ Lana Calabello

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part III

When a sister comes and shares a crushing weight with us what does it look like to be a vessel of mercy? Sometimes we may need to just sit quietly and listen. If she is sharing a burden she has carried alone for some time she may just need the opportunity to voice her concerns and know that a trusted friend will be with her as she works through the details. Other times we may feel the need to offer advice or words of wise counsel. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening are full of entries that I have gone back to time and again for comfort, encouragement and words to pass on to a friend. Here is a portion of an entry that many have quoted and found to be such a jewel.

"If none of God'saints were poor and tried, we should not know half so well the consolations of divine grace. When we find the wanderer who has not where to lay his head, who yet can say 'Still will I trust in the Lord;' when we see the pauper starving on bread and water, who still glories in Jesus; when we see the bereaved widow overwhelmed in affliction, and yet having faith in Christ, oh! what honor it reflects on the gospel. God's grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers. Saints bear up under discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring-that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily, or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it. This patience of the saints proves the power of divine grace."

Every day as your soul feeds on the Word of God and truths expounded in good books, try to keep a list of meaningful words to share with someone in time of need. Our own thoughts may seem inadequate but we can be a vessel of mercy as we channel wise words from others.
~ Brenda Edwards

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part III

This week we will continue in our series Am I My Sister’s Keeper as we look at what it means to Care For One Another As We Bear One Another’s Burden’s. (you can listen to the third message here)

But first may I encourage you to pause for a moment and grab your Bible and read Luke 10:25-37; it is here we find The Parable of the Good Samaritan. This story teaches us so much about our relationships; how we are to love and care for our neighbor in light of what Jesus Christ has already done for us. Ponder for a moment this wondrous love and allow this love to motivate you. Feeling guilty and condemned about your failure to love will never motivate you to love anyone; rather as you remember the glories of Calvary a responsive love will flow out of you to love as Christ loves.

Listed below are a few scriptures that hopefully will encourage you to love and care for your neighbor; husband, children, friend, stranger.

- Bear with other’s weaknesses; don’t just please yourself but follow Christ in this (Romans 15:1-3).
- Your words can help the tottering to stand (Job 4:3-4).
- Strengthen the weak and feeble – act as a brace for their brokenness (Hebrews 12:12-13).
- Turning a sister back from error will cover her sin and save her (James 5:19-20).
- Help other weaker sisters – you’ll be more joyful giving out to others (Acts 20:35).
- You should shepherd your sisters by seeking them out and reclaiming them (Luke 15:4-7).
- Because Christ is strengthening you, you can strengthen your sisters (Luke 22:32).
- Show mercy to those who are struggling with doubt…grab them from the fire (Jude 1:22-23).
- Gently correct those that Satan is manipulating (II Timothy 2:24:26).

“What is the friend, who will be a real blessing to my soul? Is it enough that he loves my person, and would spend his time and energies in my service? This comes far short of my requirement. I am a poor, straying sinner, with a wayward will and a blinded heart; going wrong at every step. The friend for my case is one, who will watch over me with open rebuke…The genuineness of friendship without this mark is more than doubtful; its usefulness utterly paralyzed.

Rebuke, kindly, considerately, and prayerfully administered, cements friendship rather then loosens it.

Many indeed profess their value for a true friend; and yet in the most valuable discharge of friendship, they ‘count him their enemy.’

The mark of true godliness is an anxiety to have our faults pointed out; and a thankfulness to those who undertake the self-denying office. ‘A faithful reprover is a very help in our Christian course. He is to be valued above the greatest treasure.’” Charles Bridges

Oh God, strip us of our self-righteous deeds and allow us to see that they are far worse than our gross sins. Show us that left to our own reasoning we think we are better than we are. Help us to see our need for you and our need for one another. Give us a desire to be yoked together with others for our good and your glory. ~ Rhonda Calabello

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part II

I would be the person who sincerely intends to lift others up in prayer... but then totally forgets! Two things are helping me overcome this awful habit.

One is writing the matter for prayer down. When I come across it in my devotional time- or if I wrote it on a scrap, it's when I'm cleaning out my purse- I remember to pray. Writing down requests has been my practice for a long time, but definitely has its flaws... like when I use the scrap of paper to throw away gum. Oops!

When I heard Elyse encouraging us to pray immediately, the lightbulb went off! Aha! I can be a means of grace for my hubby, children, friends, or even strangers by praying as soon as I hear of the need.

Often, I pray with the person. But when that is not possible, I do pray as soon as possible... when I hang up the phone, as I'm typing a reply email on the computer, or when I hop in my car after visiting with a friend. And when the Lord brings friends or situations to my mind later in the day or week, I can assume it is the Lord's will for me to be "a means of grace" to them. Again, I pray.

It isn't enough for me to shake my head saying to myself, "She must be having such a hard time this week, bless her heart!" I'm grateful for these teachings by Elyse and for Rhonda bringing them to us. I'm praying that the Lord will continually use them in our lives as a church body to develop Biblical relationships. And I'm praying right now!!!

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part II

Listening to the second message one thing I heard Elyse say over and over is that we need to be a means. She said that we could be the vessel that God uses to be a means in another woman’s life. Speaking into someone’s life can be challenging and difficult. We don’t want to rock the boat and so often than not we choose to just not say anything. We think we are being nice but really we are not loving that person. If you see a sister sinning the most loving thing you can do is to bring it to her attention when it’s appropriate.

Has the Lord placed a woman in your life as a means of grace to you? Throughout my adult life there has been a person (you know who you are) that the Lord uses to be a means to me. Although I haven’t always responded in gratefulness for the loving correction she brings to me, I am always thankful in the end that she did. And after I have wallowed in self pity I take some time and pray and ask the Lord to show me where I am sinning so I can change. And wouldn't you know that her assessment is usually right. It’s a difficult process but the Lord is kind and He is glorified through it all. And although it’s not easy for her either, her love for me is so evident as she is faithful to the Lord to bring me the correction. I have grown so much because of it and our relationship is stronger too.

God, in His kindness, brings people in our lives to be a means to us. They help us when we are too weak to see our sin. I am thankful for those relationships in that it has been for my sanctification. ~ Sharlyn Eddy

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part II

Step-by-Step Through Galatians 6:1-3

A. "Caught in any trespass"
B. "You who are spiritual women"
C. "Restore"
D. "Spirit of Gentleness"
E. "Looking to yourself, lest you be tempted"
F. "Bear one another's burdens"
G. "Fulfill the law of Christ"
H. "Don't deceive yourself"

"My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins."-James 5:19-20

I was twenty years old and felt very settled. I loved where I lived, had wonderful friends, a good job and adored my church family. Relocating anywhere else wasn't even in my thoughts...it wasn't even in my imagination! But when I heard that my parents felt like the Lord was calling them to move, I didn't have the selfless, eager, God-centered attitude I would have liked. Instead, idols were revealed and sin abounded. Though I willingly made the decision to move with my parents, I made it clear that it wasn't what I wanted. Bitterness, despair and loneliness were my companions and I distanced myself from my family in the process. To my constant vexation, my mom daily pursued me. She helped me to see the deep rooted idols in my life that I had allowed to take God's place. Some days my mom would come to me boldly, but gently preaching the gospel to me and confronting me about my sin. Some days she would simply sit close to me and cry with me. She was literally bearing my burdens. It didn't happen over night, but through my mom and the Holy Spirit, God had stripped me bare and was beginning to build me up again. I was able to see my sin for what it was. I understood that this was God's sovereign plan for my life. I became excited about what God was calling me to in this new city and new season. Almost three years after having moved, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. God's plans truly are better than our own. God graciously used my mom to rescue me. She embodied James 5:19-20 and Galatians 6:1-3 in my life. If it hadn't been for my mom "keeping" me, I don't know where I would be today. So, knowing what my mom has done for me, only inspires me to do that for others and to welcome that in my own life. How exciting to be able to fulfill God's call for us to be keeper's of our sister's souls and to have our souls kept as well!
~ Lana Calabello

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part II

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that is much needed as we seek to serve our sisters in Christ through bearing one another's burdens and bringing Biblical correction. If you are wondering why it is taking a sister so long to change ask the Lord to remind you how patient He has been with you, especially with battling sinful habits that are long-standing. You have discovered that His mercies are new every morning. Allow the Holy Spirit to bring to mind Scriptures abounding with grace and hope: "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed." 2 Corinthians 9:8. A little later in Chapter 12:9, 10 he writes "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' " As we learn how to care for one another may we ask the Lord for hearts that are full of compassion, the ability to stand with a sister as she learns to walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel, and tender hearts that are willing to be patient and wait for the Lord to do His work in our sister. Learn to call out her name in fervent prayer rather than grumble or complain about her lack of progress. Entrust her to God who knows best what her exact needs are. When she comes to you again and confesses her failures be quick to remind her that she is clothed in Christ's righteousness, not her own works. Turn her eyes back to the Savior and away from her failings. Agree to stand with her as she learns more and more to entrust herself to Christ. Hear the words of Jude and his confidence in the Lord: "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." Jude 24,25.
~ Brenda Edwards

Being My Sister's Keeper - Part II

Last week we in our review of Elyse Fitzpatrick’s series on Am I My Sister’s Keeper we learned that God is ultimately our keeper.

Psalm 121:3-8, “He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber, Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD
is your keeper, the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from evil; He will keep your soul. The LORD will guard your going and your coming in from this time forth and forever.”

But we also saw that we are to “keep” one another.

“A charitable concern for our brethren, as their keepers, is a great duty, which is strictly required of us, but is generally neglected by us. Those who are unconcerned in the affairs of their brethren, and take no care, when they have opportunity, to prevent their hurt in their bodies, goods, or good name, especially in their souls, do, in effect , speak Cain’s language.” Matthew Henry

Please join us this week as we discover “What the Lord Teaches about Our Responsibility to “Keep” Each Other. (click here to listen to the second message)

I have always been intrigued by Galatians 6:1-3 which says, “Brethren, even if a (sister) is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual (women), restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks (she) is something when (she) is nothing, (she) deceives herself.” (Paraphrased)

I’d like to share with you a season of my life where I was caught in sin, gently rescued, and restored to God through the ministry of biblical friendship. Though I will spare you the endless details I do want to share with you the process that took place that I believe will set the context for this week’s topic.

In 1996 our family relocated to El Paso, Texas after a lengthy process. Prior to Joe being asked to prayerfully consider relocating to El Paso, he along with some other men were in dialogue about Joe planting a church in a particular city in Florida. This had been a desire of Joe’s for sometime and it seemed it would be only a matter of time before this would take place. But God had other plans. So the adventure begins.

We began taking exploratory trips to El Paso and after our third trip it was obvious that God was leading us there. Joe was full of faith, but I was not. I had made the statement many years ago while driving through El Paso on our honeymoon headed to Colorado, “Who would ever live in this God forsaken place?” I remember thinking how ugly and why would anyone live here. As I reflect back on that arrogant comment God reminded me that He had not forsaken El Paso and He would give me faith for the move. Over time God was faithful to his promise and did give me a growing faith to trust my husband’s leadership in this matter.

However, following God’s clear leading brought about much change for our family, especially for me. Relocating to El Paso was certainly an adventure to say the least. Everything that was familiar was unfamiliar. We left our dear family and friends. The church we loved. The ocean and everything that was lush and green.

For me began a season of God’s discipline as he began to reveal my sinful heart through the changes we were making. A new church, new culture, new geography, new responsibilities and the list goes on. What should have been an absolute joy and privilege to serve the Savior was a burden to me. Change for me revealed my pride, selfishness, unbelief and bitterness to name only a few.

I was caught, overtaken, ensnared, and trapped in a depressing world of self-absorption and my thinking was dominated by my dislike of God’s providential leading. In my pride I thought I knew what was best. Due to my pride and unbelief and choosing to view my circumstances through my selfishness and feelings I lacked faith and joy, peace and contentment. To my shame I projected my unbelief to others through criticism, judgment, and bitterness.

Galatians 6:1-3 was a description of me. But thankfully God does not leave us in our sin, but rescues and restores us. Oh how I thank God for my sweet and patient husband. I am so grateful to God for my friends (you know who you are) who loved me enough to confront me with gentleness and who walked along side me. Joe continually reminded me of God’s sovereignty with great patience. He would often encourage me to embrace this season as designed by God to reveal my sin and to give me a deepened revelation of the Gospel.

What a faithful God, what a faithful husband and what faithful friends. By God’s grace I truly grew to love the culture, the geography, and especially the church. God rescued and restored me through the gently correction of others. I shuddered to think where I would be spiritually today had he not used these precious means of grace in my life. ~ Rhonda Calabello