Submission

Chris and I married young- as soon as I graduated high school. He was attending classes at UNF, so we rented an apartment in Jacksonville and thus began our married life together- away from everything, and everyone, familiar. Although life was wonderful in many ways, the challenges were more of a burden than anyone should carry alone. Immature, I didn't know how to look to the Lord for daily help. Instead, I expected Chris to be my everything.

I was not cultivating submission, in fact this self-centered posture is the opposite of submission! Where I should have recognized that only Christ can meet all my needs, I found myself instead asking more and more of my hubby. And instead of trusting God to lead me through Chris, I desired my hubby to focus on keeping me happy which left him no time for pursuing a relationship with the Lord.

I excused myself from submission during the first 6 or 7 years of our marriage thinking, "He just isn't a strong leader." Other times I was downright rude, saying, "I'd be happy to follow if you would actually lead!" My arrogance is so obvious to me now. If only someone had helped me to see it earlier! So I'd like to encourage wives whose hubby is "steady", not a type-A leader.

You know, Isaiah 40:11 says, "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." I have always applied this to parenting, and been grateful that the Lord gently leads Chris and me as we parent. But guess what I'm seeing today? Our very own God gently leads! All those years ago, and every decision today, my hubby is following the Lord when he gently leads our family!

Fast forward through 10 years of marriage. I still find myself leaning heavily on Chris at times. But now, when he gently leads our family or asks me to change my priorities for a season, I know wisdom teaches me to lay aside my opinions. I can trust God to lead Chris to lead me.
~ Allie Olsen

Submission

Being a woman who submits to her husband is a rare oddity. We live in a world where women want to be treated like men and have fought for those rights for decades. It’s not uncommon for women to speak poorly of their husbands. Even in Christian circles women can talk negatively about certain traits their husbands may have and tear them down in front of others. But when you do hear or see a godly woman who esteems her husband and praises him you take notice.

Submitting to my husband isn’t just an outward expression of obedience. It’s something that is deep within my heart that wants to please God and in doing so shows respect and honor to my husband. It’s trusting in my husband’s leadership, guidance, and protection. I have learned what areas are mine to rule, that I am my husband’s helper, and when I trust in his leadership it’s for my protection.

I am a strong woman and it has taken many years of the Lord working in my heart to show me why biblical submission in my marriage is so important. God has shown me when I step outside my biblical role as a wife and try to rule our household without my husband’s guidance that I am sinning. Too many times I have made poor decisions that weren’t mine to make and we have suffered the consequences because of that. My husband’s headship over me is there for a purpose…to guide me and lead me.
~ Sharlyn Eddy

“In the home when a husband leads like Christ and a wife responds like the bride of Christ, there is a harmony and mutuality that is more beautiful and more satisfying than any pattern of marriage created by man. Biblical headship for the husband is the divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant-leadership, protection and provision in the home. Biblical submission for the wife is the divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.30 This is the way of joy. For God loves his people and he loves his glory. And therefore when we follow his idea of marriage (sketched in texts like Genesis 2:18-24; Proverbs 5:15-19; 31:10-31; Mark 10:2-12; Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19; and 1 Peter 3:1-7) we are most satisfied and he is most glorified.” John Piper

Submission

God's view of submission has always been a beautiful idea to me. It's beautiful until it contradicts a strong desire I have. That is why I'm so grateful to have grown up being able to practice the blessing of submission with my parents. Whether I like to think it or not, how I respond to my parents and particularly my father, will most likely be the way I respond to a husband one day. I have learned from God's word that a hate for the authority that God has sovereignly placed in my life is ultimately hate for God's authority. Submission walked out in the right way is actually strength and beauty on full display. It's easy to be independent and self-sufficient, but submission takes strength and humility. When a wife joyfully submits to her husband, she isn't just laying down her life and desires, she is building up her husband and helping him to be the man God has called him to be. I once heard a quote by Matthew Henry concerning how Eve was taken out of Adam's rib. She wasn't taken out of his head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him. Understanding God's design for men and women this way, and seeing God's plan for leadership and submission, makes the prospect of one day submitting to a husband exciting. I know it may not always be easy, but considering the benefits through obedience to God, makes it all worth while. ~ Lana Calabello

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love, turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward. While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence, she brings out in him whatever is noblest and richest in his being. She inspires him with courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is crude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path." - J.R. Miller

Submission

It can seem easy to be submissive when you're in total agreement with your spouse. The challenge is learning to submit even when you disagree. Some of God's greatest lessons are learned when we lean not on our own understanding but trust Him. Several years ago my husband asked me to stop writing music. I argued with him for a few days. There was much tension between us and some painful exchanges.

Of course God wanted me to write music-I reasoned-why would he want me to stop doing something that brought glory to Him?

I went to a park on Mandarin road. I paced the boardwalk, wringing my hands and crying out to God in prayer, afraid to do what my husband had asked. Finally, I realized I needed to do this hard thing by faith. It didn't make any sense to me but to not submit was being disobedient. So reluctantly I bowed my heart and agreed to stop writing music.

Any time a new song or even a phrase for a new song would begin in my mind I turned it away. It was so foreign at first, seemingly turning away inspiration. After a month I realized what the Lord was doing. I had never been able to turn off my brain at will. I could be in a number of places and an idea would begin. Thoughts would tumble over one another like an unstoppable avalanche. But because of this strange request from my husband a gift was given to me: The ability for my mind to be at rest.

Eventually he released me to write again. But I can't tell you what a great gift had been given to me. A gift I would have missed had I continued to be stubborn and unwilling to submit. Like Abraham, going not knowing, I have learned to trust God to guide me though my husband. By faith submission has become a beautiful thing. ~ Brenda Edwards

Submission

We conclude this segment in Titus 2 by looking at the topic of Submission, certainly not a very popular topic to say the least. The feminist ideology seeks the obliteration of roles between male and female and view a wife submitting to her husband as demeaning, degrading, worthy only of mockery and pity. However, as Christian women the culture is not to be our source that defines our behavior. God’s Word is the source that informs our belief and determines our behavior. Therefore, we need to be continually evaluating out hearts and inspecting our behavior to make sure that the values and objectives of our society have not penetrated into our own way of thinking and living.

“Then they can train the younger women…to be subject to their husbands.” Titus 2:4, 5

I once heard one woman describe her view of submission this way: “Before I became a Christian the Bible Doctrine which was most like waving a red flag in front of a peevish bull as far as (I) the bull was concerned was wifely submission. I thought of leadership and submission as if they were a hammer and a nail. The husband got to be the hammer and the pour wife was the nail. How I hated that doctrine. Reading the Bible through for the first time, every time I saw a passage that taught wifely submission, I flung the Bible to the floor.”

I dare say that many women, even Christian women, are confused and sometimes hostile about what it means for a wife to be submissive to her husband. The question I would ask each of us is this: How do you regard the Doctrine of Submission? What does submission evoke in your heart and mind? Do you consider it a joy and privilege to submit to your husband or do you resent the submissive role as a wife?
Do you feel like flinging your Bible to the floor whenever you read this command in scripture?

Well, whatever your perspective, I trust each of us will examine our attitude and behavior in light of God’s Word. I’ve listed the following verses for further study; Eph. 5:22-32; Col.3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-5.

What does it mean to be subject to my husband? A very simple definition would be to acknowledge or recognize positional authority; to voluntarily place oneself under. Submission was ordained by God, submission originated with God; not as a result of the fall. As you study Genesis 1-3 you will see that God ordained male headship and female submission in marriage from the very beginning, prior to the entrance of sin.

John Piper says, “When the Bible teaches that men and women fulfill different roles in relation to each other, charging man with a unique leadership role, it bases this differentiation not on temporary cultural norms but on permanent facts of creation. This is seen in 1 Corinthians 11:3-16; Eph. 5:21-33; and I Timothy 2:11-14. In the Bible, differentiated roles for men and women are never traced back to the fall of man and woman into sin. Rather, the foundation of the differentiation is traced back to the way things were in Eden before sin warped our relationships. Differentiated roles were corrupted, not created, by the fall. They were created by God.”

I would encourage you to read Ephesians 5:22-32 and see for yourself that marriage as God has ordained is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. Marriage is to reveal Christ’s love for the church and the church’s submission to Christ. The primary purpose of marriage is not necessarily for our fulfillment to meet our needs. It is to reveal how Christ relates to the church and how the church relates to Christ. Marriage was created to glorify God. The purpose of submission in marriage, the reason we are to voluntarily place ourselves under our husbands authority is to glorify God, to bring honor to His name and to display to the world a picture of the church submitting to Christ. And ladies, WE WILL benefit immeasurably as we obey God.

Submission is not a position of inferiority, submission does not denote weakness, and it is certainly not brainless obedience. We are equal in worth and in importance; we simply have a different function. It’s so sad to me that some women really believe that submission expresses itself in mindless behavior. But on the contrary, submission is the response of an intelligent woman who fears God, who understands scripture, who is motivated by an understanding of divine order, who obviously loves her husband and who ultimately wants to glorify God. Ladies, being submission is the mark of a wise woman.


Ladies, let us embrace this divine calling in a way that causes us to honor and affirm our husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to our gifts.

As you prayerfully consider throughout the week areas where you might be resisting submission in you marriage remember that we are not naturally inclined to this. As a result of the fall we are not naturally prone to submit. We see in Genesis 3:16 it is not our predisposition to be submissive. This verse communicates Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden. “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” This word desire is a negative word. It is a desire to control or rule over our husband; to have mastery over him. It is a desire to manipulate our husband. And as a result of sin, you and I often struggle with this evil desire. Yet, there is hope in God for change. May we cry out to Him for fresh faith and grace as we allow the Holy Spirit to change us for His glory.

So join us this week as we look at how submission yields peace and joy; provides protection and promotes freedom. ~ Rhonda Calabello