Being Critical

Today we pick up with another common sin that can often hinder wives from loving their husband; the sin of Criticism.

So how can we know when we are being critical?

Well, I believe one way of knowing is when we are more aware of our husband’s sins and/or weaknesses than our own.

Matthew 7:1-5 helps us see this a bit more clearly. “Before you can see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye, first take the beam out of your own”.

How often do we approach our husband whether in thought or in words without first looking at our own heart? To my shame I fail far too often not to guard my heart in this area. I tend to concentrate more on the areas my husband is not doing well in rather than on the areas he is exceeding in.

Having this attitude may cause us to withhold encouragement from our husband or from others in the areas they are excelling in for fear if we do encourage them they won’t do all the things they are suppose to do in the areas they are still deficient in.

I know from experience this has caused great frustration in my husband’s heart, leaving him to think if he will ever be able to please me. And what is even sadder to me, is the fact that it can tempt him to just give up.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tear hers down.”

A critical heart will tear our husbands down and as a result can destroy our marriage. God’s Word tells us, we are foolish women if we engage in this practice. Ladies, we need to be more aware of God’s grace at work in our husband’s lives than in the areas he needs to grow in. We really do need to encourage them daily, unconditionally.

I love this quote by Lars Gren (Elizabeth Elliot’s husband)

“If you are a very generous wife, you may perhaps allow that your husband lives up to 80 percent of your expectations. The other 20 percent you want to change. You may, if you choose, pick away at that 20 percent for the rest of your married life and you probably will not reduce it by very much. Or you may choose to skip that and simply enjoy the 80 percent and both you and your husband will be very happy.”

Father, help me to love well as defined by you. Help me to love my husband with an affectionate, tender, devoted, and passionate love. Please forgive me when I choose to be critical towards him. Help me to first see the beam in my eye before trying to remove the speck from my husband’s eye. Thank you for your sweet forgiveness and the power of your Holy Spirit helping me to love my husband in a manner pleasing to you. ~ Rhonda Calabello